Time

Abstract

Time
My index finger was reaching for 
the up button on the elevator 
when the voice sounded above, 
Code Blue Tower 8. Code Blue Tower 8.
I broke for the stairs. 
 
They were getting the paddles in place; 
the First Year with the floppy hair, Ethan, 
pumping the chest; the Night Float,
Emily, manning an Ambu-Bag;
Jamie, the Resident, running the code.
 
I dared a look at the face – 
Ken, with whom I’d traded jokes 
for twenty years – Ken, whom I’d told 
yesterday his time was coming – 
he’d be back home, maybe two days.
 
Clear! barked Jamie. Hands backed away,
motion suspended. A very long second.
The shape on the bed gave a shudder.
Then Jamie’s voice: Excellent, a rhythm.
 
A rhythm – but no pulse.
Hands were pumping again, 
counting, squeezing in air. 
The spark was there on the screen – 
life, dancing across it – 
but none of the tiny muscles 
in the heart were listening. 
 
Epi. Atropine. Thirty minutes. 
Ethan looked up at Jamie, she 
shot a glance at me. Someone 
had to say it – and first 
right of refusal to the guy 
with gray hair.
 
A power none of us wished for – 
a power none of us have – 
but the world pretends.
 
I felt my head move up and down.
Jamie’s eyes found the clock – 
7:44 AM, she said. Time.